Party in New Orleans: 14 days and counting!
April 10, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Laissez Les Bon Temps Rouler! 
And, the good times are definitely going to roll. Why? We’ll be headed to one of my favorite cities in the world: New Orleans. If you’ve been there before, you know how relaxing yet utterly thrilling it can be. A contradiction- yeah, but absolutely true. There’s no rush to do anything and almost too many good times to do.
We’re going to attend the Heritage and Jazz Festival, a big two weekend party that regularly happens at the end of April. For some jazzheads like my swubby (that’s sweet hubby), it’s like making a trek to mecca. True music lovers can experience the great and soon-to-be great. Trouble is: I’m not a music lover.
Local Street Food Rules
I love food, though and there’s plenty of that to keep me dazed with culinary delight. Of course, we’ll hit the long standing favorites like Cafe du Monde. You haven’t lived until you’ve washed down a hot sugary beginet with their excellent chicory coffee au lait. Yum! I’m having trouble choosing which type of po’boy, a local sandwich legend, I want. Shrimp and oyster are always excellent. Then, there’s the BBQ. And, the crawfish and crabs. And, I’m gonna have a few dozen oysters. Are you seeing a trend here???? Honestly, I started dieting last month in preparation for the huge pig-out I anticipate.
A Foodies Delight
Normally, I’d have a ‘dining experience’ or two planned for us. You know, a local restaurant that has an national or international reputation. It’s wonderful to look forward to a new fine dining experience but they don’t happen by accident. It takes research and planning, at least for me. There was a funny article in this month’s Food and Wine magazine about a wife who has many of my food-coveting habits.
Initially, I was keen on eating at one of John Besh’s many places: August, La Provence and Besh Steak. If you like food reality TV shows (and I do) you’ll remember him ‘The Next Iron Chef’‘ competition. But he seems a bit overexposed so I thought we’d give Couchon a try. A cajun menu devoted to pig from oink to tail. Pork cheeks and corn bread sounds mighty yummy. Who knows we might still sneak in brunch at Luke, another Besh place, too.
Of course, I’m open to suggestions, people. Remember what your mom said: it’s good to share…
What’s your favorite food or restaurant in New Orleans?
PS. With all this eating, my next question has to be: will we be too full for vacation sex??? More on that later…
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Do We Expect Too Much from Marriage?
April 7, 2008 | 5 Comments
While exploring the blogesphere I came across an interesting post that pondered whether some of us might be a bit delusional about the state of our marriages.
The Myths about Marriage
The myth about marriage is that we expect to be happy and stay that way. That really resonated with me. I’m a gal with big expectations and always have been.
Traditionally speaking, middle age has been the time when couples expect to suffer from midlife crisis (men and women), higher divorce rate, and a general malaise and resignation about the future. Or, at least, that’s what I glean from reading the many forums, blogs and listservs about relationship and marriage. All that sadness and longing almost made me cry. I created ThisMarriageThing specifically so that midlife couples, like us, could expect more love, affection, commitment, connection, understanding, not less.
My Expectations
Oddly enough, I’d say my expectations of marriage have changed. Mainly, because I’ve changed- thank G-d! I’ve practically lost all my expectations about our daily life, which startles my poor swubby. What, you don’t expect me to file the laundry immediately after drying and whisk away to the drawers warm? Cool! We’re both so busy I’m happy the laundry is done and I didn’t have to do it. So, who cares if it’s cold. I don’t expect him to like everything I do, or go the places I want to go.
On the other hand, my expectations about the quality of our relationship are fairly high. I expect, nay demand, that we work on our relationship, that our life be examined and well lived. I expect us to share common goals and be honest about it when we don’t. I expect his support and caring, and I’ll admit that one has gotten me into trouble in the past. Why? Because we define those words so differently, and because as humans we want what we want, not what someone else has to give.
Where is the Love?
We had prime example of that the other evening. I was finishing a dreaded report that I’d agonized over for weeks. Now, you gotta understand I’m not a girl that wrings her hands at everything. I’m pretty unflappable, but this pushed all the wrong buttons and I freaked- twice. That’s pretty telling yet my swubby completely missed the signs. I blew up.
When we talked about it later he said generally he feels fine after he freaks out and thought I would, too. He expected me to lighten up. I was expecting him to baby me a bit more as I neared the finish line and throw in a celebration at the end. I see now that while I can hold the expectation for support, we need more talk about execution.
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Are Oysters Really an Aphrodisiac?
April 3, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Last year I had a ’sexual’ awakening of sorts. I tried oysters again.
For years I avoided them. The look, the smell, the effort of opening them put them off my radar screen. Not interested. Then, I thought let’s try something new. I might like them.
So I started with two. Kinda slimy but also refreshing. Next time, six. Then, eight. Then I proudly ordered and devoured 12 and an obsession was born.
Now, whenever I need a treat I think about going to my favorite oyster place in Boston. Why? Because oyster-mongering is NOT an inexpensive hobby. Those baby boys- Island Creek, PEIs- go for about 2 dollars a pop! At my secret spot I can enjoy them for the bargain price of $1! I love them drizzled with lemon juice with a mix of cocktail sauce and horseradish slathered on top. YUM!!
We’re going to New Orleans for the jazz festival at the end of the month. Know what I’m craving…oysters! ( I’ll be talking more about the trip for sure. We found a great B&B. The lineup is killer and the food- good lord!) Of course, swubby isn’t into those little gems, but he is waiting, patiently, for the ‘aphrodisiac effort’ to kick in.
However in all this time, and it’s been over a year, I haven’t felt the urge to, uh, get busy after eating a dozen or so. Certainly, the decadence of eating oysters is sexy but I missed the’ viagra effect’. Am I doing something wrong? I kinda think it’s a placebo kinda thing: it works because you believe it works. Personally, I’m happy to get all those good vitamins and the omega 3, but I’m open to new feedback…
Do oysters put you in the mood?
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Party in New Orleans: 14 days and counting!
Could Serial Marriage Become the Norm in America?
April 2, 2008 | 5 Comments
Did you catch the Barbara Walters special last night? It was entitled, Live to 150, Can You Do It? and featured a number of very interesting facts about how life span is extending well past 100. In fact, there are 84,000 people over 100 now and its said to be the fastest growing segment of the population.<p><P>
Live to 150, Can You Do It?
Barbara Walters hosted a special last night by the same title. It explored the amazing discoveries scientists are making about how to extend our livespans. Growing a new heart used to be science fiction, but now it’s being done in the lab. The show implied that in the future we’ll be able to trade up for new parts just like fixing the car. My swubby insisted on switching between that and the Celtics game (the man has his priorities). Personally, I found the program a bit disappointing and misleading. Why? A couple of reasons that I’m happy to share.
Old is Beautiful
First reason, the program felt more like a condemnation of aging than a joyous celebration of the wisdom and virtues that we accrue with age. We need every year we have alive to grow into our best selves. And if that’s true, then, the more years the better, I say. But I guess more people side with Ben Franklin who said, “All would live long but none would be old.”
The Dorian Gray Effect
Remember the story of Dorian Gray? He was a young man who traded his soul so that he could stay young and beautiful while his picture aged. That’s the other reason I didn’t care for the show. The subtext said ‘whatever it takes to stay young’. The interviews with the couple that practice calorie restriction and the man who takes skads of supplement pills daily were particularly filled with a grim determination.
I’m all for exercise and good diet to stay in shape and prolong my active years, but that was too much. In case anyone has forgotten death is not optional. No matter how hard we work to add more years, eventually there is an end. And, personally, I say amen to that. End of rant.
Serial Marriage
Back to my favorite topic: marriage. The part of the program that really caught my attention was near the end when they posited a few guesses about romance and marriage at over 100. According to Barbara, when longevity extends people may turn to serial marriages. That means you might have one partner for each life phase: young adulthood, adulthood, mature adulthood and centenarian- that’s over 100.
Crazy idea, huh? Especially when you consider we already practice of form of serial marriage. It’s called divorce and remarriage. And, there used to be a stigma about being married too many times, especially for women who may be judged as unstable or floosies as my Gram would say. Maybe it won’t matter because all your friends will be on their sixth marriage, too, if they live that long!
Speak Your Mind
As always, I’m pretty curious to hear what people think about multiple marriages and about having a single 100 year marriage to the same person. I’m gonna reach out to some friendly bloggers who inhabit the marriage/boomer space to get their thoughts. Boomer Chronicles, GenPlus, Building Camelot, The Marriage Conversation Blog – what do you think???
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