Ever have Dark Fantasies about Love and Marriage?
May 21, 2008
Ok, I admit to having fantasies. And, if you’re honest you’ll admit you have them, too.
Now, I’m not talking about sexual fantasies, although those can be fun and bring a whole lot of spice back into a relationship. I highly recommend reading a book by Anne Rice (under a pen name) called The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty. Whew, just thinking about it…is it hot in here? But, I’m talking about a different kind of fantasy entirely.
Dark Fantasies
I’m calling it a Dark Fantasy. One I discovered while reading Oprah magazine. Got you wondering, huh? Well, there was an article called MidWife Crisis that had me in tears laughing because <i>it was so true</i>.
Ellen Tien, the author, talked about having divorce fantasies where she imagined her life without her husband. I’m never going to be divorced again. So, I have trial fantasies.
Fantasies aren’t reality. Just a juicy bit of mind-play that let’s me get past the fact that my sweetie can be annoying quickly and remember that ultimately he’s what I asked the universe to send me. Want to hear my fantasy? My friends Helen and Pam laughed but maybe I am weird.
Dina’s Trial Fantasy 
Imagine this: I’m on trial, sitting in the witness box giving my testimony before the judge and juror. I say:
“Your Honor, it’s a sad story. My swubby forgot to get me a holiday gift. Then when he got it he forgot to schedule the luxury spa service for months until I had to threaten to do it myself. On the day of the service, he arrived late, complained about traffic and drove like a maniac. I was beyond the point of enjoying a massage by the time we arrived. It was a mercy killing.”
The Judge says, ” Of course you’re acquitted.” The juror pipes in with “Could we give you some some monetary damages, too?”
Is this so bad?
I generally end this fantasy with a smile on my face, ready to kiss and makeup. Tonight is a good example. Swubby insisted on grilling, even though I’d prepared most of the meal and tend to be the better grillmaster. A gently reminder that I like my steak medium was poo-pooed. No surprise. The steak was overcooked. Deep breath, ” Your honor, he defied my instructions ….” We eat dinner- crisis averted.
I hesitated to share the whole idea of dark fantasies because some folks have suffered a real life tragedy and others might think me deranged or violent. But, at the end of the day I say what the heck because I know some of you think the same thing. And, hey this is a lot cheaper and faster than marriage counseling.
<i><b>What’s your dark fantasy?</i></b>
Disclaimer: In no way is this post meant to encourage spousal abuse. I spent the early part of my legal career fighting against that.
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