My Swubby Thinks I’m…

July 9, 2008

So, so many words to fill in that blank. Normally, he thinks I’m fab, fun, smart, cute (that’s a big one, but at my age who wants to be cute?), accomplished and beautiful. Lots of good things.

Happily, I think lots of good things about him, too. He’s fun (notice we have that in common), good looking, kind-hearted and full of integrity. Cheesy as it seems, this is a lovefest. And yet, I get cheesed when my swubby has a negative thought about me. So, I’m trying to figure it out. Today, at lunch my swubby told me he thought I was ’round’.

Round = Fat

Yep, he thinks I’m getting plump. He’s right. I am.

Maybe it was our time at the Jazzfest in New Orleans, with all it’s irresistible smells and tastes, that bankrupted my willpower. Or, maybe it’s the summertime, with it’s laid back-have another beer- feeling that gave me a break from my healthy eating patterns.

I’d bet $50 it was the subscription to Food & Wine magazine. Cooking magazines are like crack; once you’ve experienced ‘chile-lime crab salad’ on the cover, it’s impossible not to experiment with luscious, mouth-watering recipes that have no nutritional information available. The food is so good it’s worth the calories.

Anyway, my petite frame is holding a few more pounds than it should.

But Who’s to Notice?

I find it the height of rudeness to comment on someone’s weight. It just seems like so presumptuous to think you know why that other person is looking good. Couldn’t be an inner glow- nope, you lost weight. There’s only one person who can get away with those types of comments: mom. My mom came for a visit and the very first thing she said was, ‘You gained weight. Looks fine’. (To digress, that’s a perfect mompliment, don’t you think? Leaves you wondering does she like it or not. I’m in awe of her.)

The one person who absolutely cannot get away with weight comments: hubby!

The Mirror in Snow White

I tend to think that spouses should be like the magical mirror in Snow White. When I say who’s the fairest in the land, I kinda want to hear him say those reassuring words: you are. No matter what I look like. Plump. Slim. Muscular. Gray hair. Blond. Fashion maven or domestic grunge victim, I want to know he likes it all (or can at least live with that for a while).

Why does this matter? Because although I think my swubby is dreamy handsome, I married his for his inner self. (Luckily I got a sneak peek at 80 Swubby’s Dad Swubby!

I asked the universe to send me a kind man with a big loving heart. Viola, he arrived and I’m so glad. His shell will change, sure; but, the soft, gushy middle will always be the part I love. My outsides will change, but I hope I’m gonna stay his fairest forever.

But Will You Love Me Tomorrow?

This is probably not the most selfless concern, I know. Yet, I think it goes to the heart of humans and love. We want to know we will be loved just the way we are. No matter what. Doesn’t always happen. When it does it’s heaven.

Happily, I’m Evolving

Great thing about advancing in years is that I occasionally apply something that I learned to my life. Here’s my lesson:

I’m perfect just the way I am now.

Yes, I could stand to lose ten pounds. Yes, exercising more regularly would be healthy. Yes, I’d love an energy boost. Yes, to it all- just not now. I’ll get to it soon. For now, I’m fine. Maya Angelou, the American treasure, reminds me so in her hip-rolling, diva-licious poem, Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I’m not cute or built to suit a model’s fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I’m telling lies.
I say
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It’s the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say
It’s in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It’s in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That’s me.

 

Gosh, I love that poem because it reminds me who I am in the world. Hopefully, you, too. So, tell me

What have you learned about you from what your spouse thinks of you?

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