Should your spouse be an agent of reality or your most loyal fan?

February 22, 2008

Rocky shore of love I don’t like being told what to do. It’s not that I’m not open to advice, I am. It’s simply that I generally know what I’m doing and I dislike being contradicted. (insert laughter here)

Happily, my husband understands that about me. He remains silent when I miss the tennis ball while we’re playing Wii. He’s learned not to kibbutz in the kitchen while I’m cooking. He’s supposed to be my biggest supporter and most loyal fan, not a critic.

But there are times when I need an objective opinion and there’s no one I trust more than him. My swubby is wise, patient and smart. His mind is analytical while mine tends to be more intuitive. I need him to be a reality-check. I learned that when I upgraded to Vista instead of taking his suggestion to remain with Windows XP (Honey, you were rrrrrrright!)

Although it’s clear that a spouse can be, and possibly should be both, which do you prefer:

Do you want a reality check or a ‘atta boy’ from your mate?

Enjoy this post? Here are some more posts we think you might like:
What does it take to be a ‘good spouse’?
Would You Change Your Entire Life if your Spouse Wanted To?
If you knew on your wedding day what you know now about your spouse, would you have gotten married?

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Comments

One Response to “Should your spouse be an agent of reality or your most loyal fan?”

  1. Randi Brenowitz on February 25th, 2008 5:55 pm

    It is really not a matter of preference. I want and need my spouse to be both. I want him to be a loyal fan and my biggest cheer leader. Having made two big risky career changes in my life, I know I never would have done either without his constant support and reminder of how great I am (his words - not mine). But when I’m about to do something stupid, I need him to help me think it through and let me know why he thinks it is not a good idea.

    On a more practical level, we use each other to edit our writing. In those instances, it is essential that we comment on the good stuff, but suggest changes with the not-so-good stuff. Again, both skills are important to me.

    I couldn’t be in a long term relationship with someone who was only a critic nor could I be in one with someone who was always a cheerleader.

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