Can a Post Nuptial Save a Marriage?
July 11, 2008 | 2 Comments
I met up with my friend, Vyctoria, at a Ladies Who Launch networking event last night. While catching up I casually asked her to name today’s topic. Vyctoria is an uber-organized blond who runs a luxury personal concierge business- you know, lifestyle management. She’ll take care of any thing so long as it’s legal.
She has a really sharp mind. Leave it to her to be so clever as to ask why do married folks always want single folks to get married. I admit I was stumped on that one (so it might actually turn up as a post before too long). Anyway, she suggested a post on doing a credit check on your spouse. Then, things got interesting.
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Romantic Memoirs-the Finalists!
July 2, 2008 | 1 Comment
A great big thank you to everyone who took a moment to send in a memoir. I loved reading them all, and I hope you did too. Who expected such a range of responses? (Ok, I did but it’s still amazing to see). You probably noticed like I did that the entries kinda fell into a couple of categories. Because they were so good, I thought I’d highlight one or two from each camp before getting around to the finalist list. Drum roll, please…. Read more
Happy 4th!
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What role does loyalty play in marriage?
May 3, 2008 | Leave a Comment
This is the third and final entry in the series on Duma Key book review. I delayed because the conversation will be much richer if folks have had a chance to read the book. That unthinkable accident happens pretty close to the start of the book. For those of you who haven’t read it yet, Stephen King poses an interesting question about loyalty in marriage. Namely, how much loyalty does one spouse owe another?
Most of us would like to think that we’d stick by our mates through thick and thin, right? That law or religion will bind us until ‘death do us part’. But, there are circumstances and feelings that call that into question. Suppose your mate is chronically ill, incapacitated or mentally ill, would you want out? What if he or she wasn’t truly the person you thought you were getting, would that make a difference?
I faced this myself when my husband-then fiance- faced back surgery that left him without feeling in his legs. Happily, we married and he recovered to a large degree. I had doubts but never thought of breaking my promise, although I completely understand after 18 years as a mediator that there are situations that call for that.
Where do you draw the line?
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Are you OK with your spouse having very close friends of the opposite sex?
April 16, 2008 | 1 Comment
This question came up at a brunch we threw. Lubricated with cocktails and plenty of yummy breakfast foods, we whiled away the afternoon talking about all sorts of stuff from going to a nude beach with your parent (avoid if possible) to whether or not we could eat fois gras and be guilt free (sadly, no).
The answers to question threw me for a loop. My friend, Curlytop, said as a married woman she’s only comfortable with having casual, work-related male friends. And a limited amount of those, too. In fact, this Gen X friend wouldn’t feel right hanging with a man friend for a few hours on Saturday.Clearly, for her, emotional closeness would be cheating.
Me, I kinda feel the same way. I so value the closeness and intimacy I have with my hubby. I’m torn between two ideas. The trials we’ve survived in 2 short years of marriage make our pretty close. There isn’t a good reason for either of us to mess with that. I’m the one my swubby should share his deep thoughts with.
On the other hand…
I’m old enough to know that one person can’t be everything for or to another. I’m not the die-hard jazz fan he’d like so I understand when he goes with bandmates. And, I’m sure the conversation covers areas no female is meant to hear. I know they help and support him in ways I can’t.
So, I punt. It really depends on what, when and who because…you just never know what you can survive for love.
Is it cheating if your honey is emotionally close to someone of the opposite sex?
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